What is it about dancing that allows me a this sense of eternal bliss? I feel freedom. I feel light. I feel happiness. I feel like everything is going to be okay, that everything is gonna be alright.
I went to a friend's wedding tonight. We danced the night away, and I loved every single minute of it. It feels like ol times again. Like when I was a teenager (gosh, that was 4 years ago!) and with boundless energy, we used to dance to every song like there was no tomorrow. People find their ecstasy in alcohol, I've found mine in dancing. I get high just dancing. I just absolutely love it.
I haven't danced like this in ages. I'd forgotten how to actually. I'd forgotten how much I actually love dancing. But I danced today, and then suddenly, I found myself again.
Buahahahahahahahaha...
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Monday, December 26, 2005
Math
I was in Math class at the beginning of sec 2 when I came up with this statement. We were doing up our Math files and to give our files some personality, our Math teacher encouraged us to decorate them.
I was never really good in Art so I got a friend to do up my file for me. He asked me what I wanted on it. So I sat and thought abt it and then I came up with the statement. 'Life is like Math, You always have to solve problems'
So is life like Math? In a certain sense, it is. Problems are circumstances that can either mould you, or destroy you. The problem with life (no pun intended) is that unlike math, life teaches through Experience. And Experience is a harsh teacher. She gives you the exam first, then teaches you the lesson later.
For a very long time now, I've been mulling over a problem. An area (again, no pun intended) of my life that just doesn't seem to make sense. I've tried various ways to solve it. It's like cracking the code of a vault that I know holds treasures.
It's like destiny, I'm meant to have it, but I need some breakthrough. Sometimes, I get a ray of light from this moronic vault, and just when I think I have it, it closes shut again. It's as if for some reason, it's enjoying my utter frustration.
It's the end of the year exams. I'm sitting for my Math paper. There's this 10 mark question that I've been mulling over for quite some time now. In frustration, I slam down my pen. I've had enough of this. I look up and see my Math teacher looking at me from afar. Then I remember her words. "If you can't do a sum, don't waste too much time on it. Skip the ones you're stuck at, and carry on to the ones you do know."
In reality, there are many vaults that contain 10 marks in them. But sometimes, we just need to move on to the other vaults, cause the other vaults add up to 90 marks. I may not get this vault, but I can still get the distiction, if I learn to move on to the other parts. Besides, if there's time left, then I can always get back to the problematic vault. Sometimes, winning the war is more important than winning the battle.
I cannot mull over this problem any longer. It's no longer my problem. I'm giving it to God. I'm not going to fight this battle anymore. It's God's problem now. I need to move on. There are other areas that require attention....
There once was a cat who was told that its happiness was its tail. So the cat tried to catch the tail and the more he chased, the more it eluded him. So after a long time, he got fed up and didn't care abt it anymore. Then he found that as he walked away, the tail (his happiness) followed him...
*meow*
I was never really good in Art so I got a friend to do up my file for me. He asked me what I wanted on it. So I sat and thought abt it and then I came up with the statement. 'Life is like Math, You always have to solve problems'
So is life like Math? In a certain sense, it is. Problems are circumstances that can either mould you, or destroy you. The problem with life (no pun intended) is that unlike math, life teaches through Experience. And Experience is a harsh teacher. She gives you the exam first, then teaches you the lesson later.
For a very long time now, I've been mulling over a problem. An area (again, no pun intended) of my life that just doesn't seem to make sense. I've tried various ways to solve it. It's like cracking the code of a vault that I know holds treasures.
It's like destiny, I'm meant to have it, but I need some breakthrough. Sometimes, I get a ray of light from this moronic vault, and just when I think I have it, it closes shut again. It's as if for some reason, it's enjoying my utter frustration.
It's the end of the year exams. I'm sitting for my Math paper. There's this 10 mark question that I've been mulling over for quite some time now. In frustration, I slam down my pen. I've had enough of this. I look up and see my Math teacher looking at me from afar. Then I remember her words. "If you can't do a sum, don't waste too much time on it. Skip the ones you're stuck at, and carry on to the ones you do know."
In reality, there are many vaults that contain 10 marks in them. But sometimes, we just need to move on to the other vaults, cause the other vaults add up to 90 marks. I may not get this vault, but I can still get the distiction, if I learn to move on to the other parts. Besides, if there's time left, then I can always get back to the problematic vault. Sometimes, winning the war is more important than winning the battle.
I cannot mull over this problem any longer. It's no longer my problem. I'm giving it to God. I'm not going to fight this battle anymore. It's God's problem now. I need to move on. There are other areas that require attention....
There once was a cat who was told that its happiness was its tail. So the cat tried to catch the tail and the more he chased, the more it eluded him. So after a long time, he got fed up and didn't care abt it anymore. Then he found that as he walked away, the tail (his happiness) followed him...
*meow*
MasterCard Moment
Christmas Lights At Orchard Road : $2 000 000
DKNY Shirt : $200+
Cans of Spray Foam : $10
Getting Sprayed by a Bunch of Banglas on My DKNY : Costly, very costly
Whipping Out My Cans and Spraying Them So Bad They Can't Even See Where There're Going : PRICELESS!
DKNY Shirt : $200+
Cans of Spray Foam : $10
Getting Sprayed by a Bunch of Banglas on My DKNY : Costly, very costly
Whipping Out My Cans and Spraying Them So Bad They Can't Even See Where There're Going : PRICELESS!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Peace
Here I am at home.
Typing away at my laptop.
Listening to "fix you" by coldplay.
I need the adrenaline rush.
But all I hear is the quite hush.
All my friends are out today. They're all clubbing. Here I am at home.
Why didn't I go? Work commitments?
Sometimes, I feel left out. Sometimes, I feel like I'm missing out.
Then I remember. I'm missing the smoke. I'm missing the music. I'm missing the dancing. I'm missing the restlessness. I'm missing the alcohol. Copious amounts of it. I'm missing the piss. I'm missing the vomit and the verbal diarrhea. I miss all the shadiness.
Then I remember...
I miss nothing...
Here I am at home.
Typing away at my laptop.
Listening to "Clocks" by Coldplay.
I need the adrenaline rush.
But all I hear is the quite hush.
All my friends are out today. They're all clubbing.
I've found my peace.
I've found my happiness.
Pain is relative. Remember that.
Happiness is relative. Remember that.
And I'm happy. Finally. Remember that...
Typing away at my laptop.
Listening to "fix you" by coldplay.
I need the adrenaline rush.
But all I hear is the quite hush.
All my friends are out today. They're all clubbing. Here I am at home.
Why didn't I go? Work commitments?
Sometimes, I feel left out. Sometimes, I feel like I'm missing out.
Then I remember. I'm missing the smoke. I'm missing the music. I'm missing the dancing. I'm missing the restlessness. I'm missing the alcohol. Copious amounts of it. I'm missing the piss. I'm missing the vomit and the verbal diarrhea. I miss all the shadiness.
Then I remember...
I miss nothing...
Here I am at home.
Typing away at my laptop.
Listening to "Clocks" by Coldplay.
I need the adrenaline rush.
But all I hear is the quite hush.
All my friends are out today. They're all clubbing.
I've found my peace.
I've found my happiness.
Pain is relative. Remember that.
Happiness is relative. Remember that.
And I'm happy. Finally. Remember that...
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
God is so Good!
Okay, I HAVE to thank God for being so good to me!
On Saturday, I had 3 shows (bhangra people, bhangra) so I had to rush from one to the other. We finished up the 2nd show and reached the 3rd one at 9pm only to be told that our number was to come on at 10! Seriously, after dancing at 2 locations already, I was more than ready to call it quits and just dump the show. However, the show organiser was someone I had collaborated with for the Chingay Procession this year. So I decided to talk to him to ask him to push our show to an earlier timeslot. He was very unwilling however. In a split second, I turned to Raju who was beside me and said, "OK, I'm gonna ask God for favour."
The organiser then looked at me a second time and said, "OK fine, you perform NOW"
Wow, if this isn't the favour of God, then I dunno what is. Thank you Father :)
On Saturday, I had 3 shows (bhangra people, bhangra) so I had to rush from one to the other. We finished up the 2nd show and reached the 3rd one at 9pm only to be told that our number was to come on at 10! Seriously, after dancing at 2 locations already, I was more than ready to call it quits and just dump the show. However, the show organiser was someone I had collaborated with for the Chingay Procession this year. So I decided to talk to him to ask him to push our show to an earlier timeslot. He was very unwilling however. In a split second, I turned to Raju who was beside me and said, "OK, I'm gonna ask God for favour."
The organiser then looked at me a second time and said, "OK fine, you perform NOW"
Wow, if this isn't the favour of God, then I dunno what is. Thank you Father :)
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Great Expectations
Was talking to a really close friend the other day and she was telling me about a conversation she had with another friend. In that conversation, her friend had said that it was better to not have expectations of anyone, cause then you'll never get upset when that someone doesn't live up to those expectations.
To which my friend replied that it's simply not possible not to have expectations of anyone. Especially those who are closest to you.
Now, the first argument in theory is a great idea. Dun have expectations of anyone. You won't be hurt when that someone doesn't live up to those expectations.
But personally, I really dun think that is humanly possible. Children expect to be loved by their parents. Husbands expect respect from their wives. And God expects us to be good.
I mean, let's face the truth, whether we like it or not, all of us are great expectors (word made up by me). You wouldn't naturally expect anything from a newly found friend. But when that friend becomes close, you would naturally expect from that friend wouldn't you?
So maybe, just maybe, the problem that we have is having great expectations of someone. And when that someone doesn't live up to those high standards, we tend to get dissapointed, disgruntled and irritated.
So is it true that when I love someone more, I expect more from that loved one? Are my expectations greater because my love is greater? Think about the people that you respect in your life. Respect is a form of Love. You only respect those you love, and you only love those you respect.
Maybe sometimes, I think I need to look at myself, and ask myself if I can live up to those expectations that I set on others. And if I can, then maybe I should accord some grace and be merciful. Afterall, these are my loved ones. If I cannot accord grace, then who will?
For God was gracious to me, a sinner.
I never lived up to His expectations.
But He still loved me anyway...
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...
The courage to change the things I can...
And wisdom to know the difference...
To which my friend replied that it's simply not possible not to have expectations of anyone. Especially those who are closest to you.
Now, the first argument in theory is a great idea. Dun have expectations of anyone. You won't be hurt when that someone doesn't live up to those expectations.
But personally, I really dun think that is humanly possible. Children expect to be loved by their parents. Husbands expect respect from their wives. And God expects us to be good.
I mean, let's face the truth, whether we like it or not, all of us are great expectors (word made up by me). You wouldn't naturally expect anything from a newly found friend. But when that friend becomes close, you would naturally expect from that friend wouldn't you?
So maybe, just maybe, the problem that we have is having great expectations of someone. And when that someone doesn't live up to those high standards, we tend to get dissapointed, disgruntled and irritated.
So is it true that when I love someone more, I expect more from that loved one? Are my expectations greater because my love is greater? Think about the people that you respect in your life. Respect is a form of Love. You only respect those you love, and you only love those you respect.
Maybe sometimes, I think I need to look at myself, and ask myself if I can live up to those expectations that I set on others. And if I can, then maybe I should accord some grace and be merciful. Afterall, these are my loved ones. If I cannot accord grace, then who will?
For God was gracious to me, a sinner.
I never lived up to His expectations.
But He still loved me anyway...
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...
The courage to change the things I can...
And wisdom to know the difference...
Thursday, November 24, 2005
I'm Back!
Ok, more like i got my laptop back. Yeah, thats right, lappie (my laptop's name... my nano's called nancy) was sick so i had to take him to customer service. The nice man over the counter said lappie had some bad sectors in his hard drive so it caused some discomfort to his wireless lan. He promised to send lappie back once they were done observing his condition.
So now, after a year, my wireless is finally working and so i guess i'll be blogging more *applause* Yes, yes, thank yew very much.
Well, i just got my unlimited wireless starhub account up and running and now i'm at the Mac Donald's at SunPlaza. It's a mins' walk away from my house and it's open 24 hours so i guess i'll be spending more time here (Supersize me anyone? Ah who cares, Lyn happens to think i'll never put on weight :P)
Pssst. you know what i just found out? *whispers* The cakes at the Coffee Bean at SunPlaza is half price everday after 6! Is that like great news or what man? *Feels the jealousy* I feel for you people....
So now, after a year, my wireless is finally working and so i guess i'll be blogging more *applause* Yes, yes, thank yew very much.
Well, i just got my unlimited wireless starhub account up and running and now i'm at the Mac Donald's at SunPlaza. It's a mins' walk away from my house and it's open 24 hours so i guess i'll be spending more time here (Supersize me anyone? Ah who cares, Lyn happens to think i'll never put on weight :P)
Pssst. you know what i just found out? *whispers* The cakes at the Coffee Bean at SunPlaza is half price everday after 6! Is that like great news or what man? *Feels the jealousy* I feel for you people....
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Happiness
Why is it everytime I seem to be starting to move on in my life, I seem to be dragged down all over again. Why can't I just live in happiness? And when I mean happiness, I mean the kind that lasts. Not the kind that comes for a while, that gives you hope, and then just flutters away and leaves you in a cauldron of mixed emotions.
Whats so hard? I just wanna be happy. For a long long time. I just wanna be happy for a looooooooonnng time. Sometimes, on my way home, when i look at the kids playing at the playground, i remember a time when nothing seemed to matter. As a kid, you never need to think so much. Even when you were sad, it would never last, and you just end up being happy.
*Sigh* I'm just so sick of this. Sometimes, I wonder whats the use of me being here. Not that I'm thinking of dying. But I do wonder whats my purpose here. So many questions, so little answers.
I know who I am in Christ. I know what He wants for me. I know the scripture. I know, I know, I KNOW! But I what I want to know is WHERE IS MY HAPPINESS? I want to be happy! Thats all Lord. I just want to be happy...
The pain is excruciating. I feel so lost. The melancholy has to stop. What have I done to deserve this? Where was my fault? Am I a bad person? Arrrrrghhhhh... Please stop this pain O'Lord. Please, I beg you. Haven't you tested me enough? I cannot take it any longer...
Just answer me I pray. Either rip out this hurting heart, or tear my spirit from this soul of despair. I would rather not have a heart, then have a heart in shreds.
But if you cannot, then turn my heart to stone. I would rather not feel. It is better to be numb. Then at least I can bleed and never feel the pain.
Listen to my cry.
Listen to my prayer.
Listen to my despair.
Listen Lord, can you hear it dripping?
It is the sound of a bleeding heart. Take me away. Bear me on your wings of love. It is better to be with you.
*Sigh* Oh desperate heart, why do you still choose to hope? See Oh Lord, see how this heart still clings on to you and the promises you have promised me. See how faithful this heart is? Does he hope in vain? Only you can answer that O' Lord.
Show Yourself strong, on behalf of those that are weak. Show Yourself mighty, on behalf of those that still hope on you.
"I will never leave you,
I will never forsake you,
I will never fail you..."
Great is your faithfulness O' Lord.
Whats so hard? I just wanna be happy. For a long long time. I just wanna be happy for a looooooooonnng time. Sometimes, on my way home, when i look at the kids playing at the playground, i remember a time when nothing seemed to matter. As a kid, you never need to think so much. Even when you were sad, it would never last, and you just end up being happy.
*Sigh* I'm just so sick of this. Sometimes, I wonder whats the use of me being here. Not that I'm thinking of dying. But I do wonder whats my purpose here. So many questions, so little answers.
I know who I am in Christ. I know what He wants for me. I know the scripture. I know, I know, I KNOW! But I what I want to know is WHERE IS MY HAPPINESS? I want to be happy! Thats all Lord. I just want to be happy...
The pain is excruciating. I feel so lost. The melancholy has to stop. What have I done to deserve this? Where was my fault? Am I a bad person? Arrrrrghhhhh... Please stop this pain O'Lord. Please, I beg you. Haven't you tested me enough? I cannot take it any longer...
Just answer me I pray. Either rip out this hurting heart, or tear my spirit from this soul of despair. I would rather not have a heart, then have a heart in shreds.
But if you cannot, then turn my heart to stone. I would rather not feel. It is better to be numb. Then at least I can bleed and never feel the pain.
Listen to my cry.
Listen to my prayer.
Listen to my despair.
Listen Lord, can you hear it dripping?
It is the sound of a bleeding heart. Take me away. Bear me on your wings of love. It is better to be with you.
*Sigh* Oh desperate heart, why do you still choose to hope? See Oh Lord, see how this heart still clings on to you and the promises you have promised me. See how faithful this heart is? Does he hope in vain? Only you can answer that O' Lord.
Show Yourself strong, on behalf of those that are weak. Show Yourself mighty, on behalf of those that still hope on you.
"I will never leave you,
I will never forsake you,
I will never fail you..."
Great is your faithfulness O' Lord.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Love (Part 1)
I haven't really touched on very personal stuff as yet, but today, I somehow feel compelled to write about someone very close to my heart, and she knows who she is.
Hmmm, where do I even start with her? We met when she was 14 and me? 19. We met at a friend's party. A friend who BTW, liked me. So we went to her party and fell in love. I remember that day like it was a fairytale, like some bollywood movie. I was sitting across the hall with my friends and for some reason, she walked from across the other side of the hall to where I was to get some tidbits. I was smitten.
What was it about her that attracted me so much? I still wonder till today what is it about her that attracts me to her. I do have some answers, but not all of them.
We seem to have this way of communicating with each other without words. Is it cause we've been together for 4 years? Could be, but even from the start, we could do this. Sometimes, we can just not talk for a long while and just look at each other and understand exactly what we're thinking. Dun ever put us together for charades, you'll lose big time.
Ok, she just came online and comfirmed what I just said. And I didn't even tell her what I was typing! We can even read each other's minds through the internet!
The one thing I really love about her is when she acts cute with me when she wants her way. I guess every girl does that, but somehow, she's the only one that gets away with it with me. Sonya tries, and she gets away with anyone, but not with me. I'll just stare at her like stone and she'll get angry and say, "It's not fair, it only doesn't work with you"
Sometimes, I ask myself how things got the way they are now. In a way, I know He is in some way responsible for this. Not in a bad way. It happened for a reason. I'm a better person today because of what happened. And in a way, I kinda know how'll it'll end up. But the journey there sucks. It's like taking a 6 hour drive to Disneyland with 10 people in a 5 seater car. And the air-con just blew! It's extremely frustrating, nauseating, bothersome, worrysome and disgruntling. *sigh*
Where she wants to be right now and where I want to be seem to be clashing. For someone I know better than anyone else in this world, it's interesting that I just don't understand some of the things she does or sayz. And yet, there are times that I do. I don't blame her for wnating to be where she is right now. In fact, I'll even respect her decisions. But on my part, it gets confusing.
1 Corinthians 14:33 - For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.
Confusion isn't the place where God wants me to be.
So I will hold my peace in Him. I will look not at the things of the world. I will stand firm in Him and His promises to me. I will get out of the driver's seat and let Him take over. And I will be with her, at the back, enjoying the ride.
And in no time, we'll be enjoying paradise...
Hmmm, where do I even start with her? We met when she was 14 and me? 19. We met at a friend's party. A friend who BTW, liked me. So we went to her party and fell in love. I remember that day like it was a fairytale, like some bollywood movie. I was sitting across the hall with my friends and for some reason, she walked from across the other side of the hall to where I was to get some tidbits. I was smitten.
What was it about her that attracted me so much? I still wonder till today what is it about her that attracts me to her. I do have some answers, but not all of them.
We seem to have this way of communicating with each other without words. Is it cause we've been together for 4 years? Could be, but even from the start, we could do this. Sometimes, we can just not talk for a long while and just look at each other and understand exactly what we're thinking. Dun ever put us together for charades, you'll lose big time.
Ok, she just came online and comfirmed what I just said. And I didn't even tell her what I was typing! We can even read each other's minds through the internet!
The one thing I really love about her is when she acts cute with me when she wants her way. I guess every girl does that, but somehow, she's the only one that gets away with it with me. Sonya tries, and she gets away with anyone, but not with me. I'll just stare at her like stone and she'll get angry and say, "It's not fair, it only doesn't work with you"
Sometimes, I ask myself how things got the way they are now. In a way, I know He is in some way responsible for this. Not in a bad way. It happened for a reason. I'm a better person today because of what happened. And in a way, I kinda know how'll it'll end up. But the journey there sucks. It's like taking a 6 hour drive to Disneyland with 10 people in a 5 seater car. And the air-con just blew! It's extremely frustrating, nauseating, bothersome, worrysome and disgruntling. *sigh*
Where she wants to be right now and where I want to be seem to be clashing. For someone I know better than anyone else in this world, it's interesting that I just don't understand some of the things she does or sayz. And yet, there are times that I do. I don't blame her for wnating to be where she is right now. In fact, I'll even respect her decisions. But on my part, it gets confusing.
1 Corinthians 14:33 - For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.
Confusion isn't the place where God wants me to be.
So I will hold my peace in Him. I will look not at the things of the world. I will stand firm in Him and His promises to me. I will get out of the driver's seat and let Him take over. And I will be with her, at the back, enjoying the ride.
And in no time, we'll be enjoying paradise...
Tuahs!
Okay, I know I haven't been updating for a long long time and thats because my sis has been hogging the comp (doing schoolwork she sayz). But before I update on the events of my life the last few dayz, I have a very important statement to make. I hate, absolutely hate being tuahed!
Meaning of Tuah? According to the Jayster Dictionary, 2005 edition, Tuah "is the act of ditching someone at the last min (or last few hours) after making plans with them".
I'll take it one step further. Tuah involves making extensive plans, you getting excited about it and going all out to organize it and everyone making plans before that or after that and just tells you at the last min that they have something else to do!
I mean, if
1. You had something to do in the first place, why commit to make plans that clash?
2. You made plans AFTER we had agreed to make plans first, then you show ABSOLUTELY NO regard for our plans.
3. You let the relevant parties know at the very last min, you have NO respect for the other ppl involved.
The common reaction of someone when they're told that they've tuah others?
" I didn't really say yes to comming"
Read the key words in italics. Didn't really say yes?
'Yes' is an absolute word.
'No' is an absolute word.
'Maybe' is in the grey.
I mean would I go to lenghths to plan something because you said "maybe we should do this?"
The common reaction after they're labelled a tuaher (someone who tuahs lah)? Or being blasted for doing it?
" Okay let's do this, but I'm not confirmed yet. I already said first ah, I'm not confirmed coming yet"
So we're back to square one. Nothing is confirmed, cause everyone is scared to commit. So in the end, what we have is shoddy plans and everyone doesn't really have a good time cause all we do is stand around deciding where to go and not ending up anywhere fun.
In the words of Winnie the Pooh, " Oh bother..."
Meaning of Tuah? According to the Jayster Dictionary, 2005 edition, Tuah "is the act of ditching someone at the last min (or last few hours) after making plans with them".
I'll take it one step further. Tuah involves making extensive plans, you getting excited about it and going all out to organize it and everyone making plans before that or after that and just tells you at the last min that they have something else to do!
I mean, if
1. You had something to do in the first place, why commit to make plans that clash?
2. You made plans AFTER we had agreed to make plans first, then you show ABSOLUTELY NO regard for our plans.
3. You let the relevant parties know at the very last min, you have NO respect for the other ppl involved.
The common reaction of someone when they're told that they've tuah others?
" I didn't really say yes to comming"
Read the key words in italics. Didn't really say yes?
'Yes' is an absolute word.
'No' is an absolute word.
'Maybe' is in the grey.
I mean would I go to lenghths to plan something because you said "maybe we should do this?"
The common reaction after they're labelled a tuaher (someone who tuahs lah)? Or being blasted for doing it?
" Okay let's do this, but I'm not confirmed yet. I already said first ah, I'm not confirmed coming yet"
So we're back to square one. Nothing is confirmed, cause everyone is scared to commit. So in the end, what we have is shoddy plans and everyone doesn't really have a good time cause all we do is stand around deciding where to go and not ending up anywhere fun.
In the words of Winnie the Pooh, " Oh bother..."
Friday, October 21, 2005
Fire Tests Gold...
“These trials only test your faith to see whether or not it is strong and pure. Your faith is being tested as fire tests gold and purifies it.” 1 Peter 1:7
I Will Follow
Though I Know Not Where I Go
Though I Know Not What I Do
With Your Rod And Your Staff
I Will Follow You
Though I Know Not What I Do
With Your Rod And Your Staff
I Will Follow You
Sunday, October 16, 2005
I Will Follow You
Though I Walk Through The Valley
Though I Know Not Where I Go
You Will Light My Path
And Lead Me Through O' Lord
Though I Know Not Where I Go
You Will Light My Path
And Lead Me Through O' Lord
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Quote: The True Joy of Life
George Bernard Shaw once wrote, "This is the true joy of life: the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish clot of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Forgiven
This is a difficult topic for me. Forgiveness. How do you forgive someone who does you wrong? Wrong that you know you didn't deserve. Something that caused immense pain. How do you react when they say they're sorry? Or how do you react when they don't say sorry? How do you react when they don't seem to think that it's even their fault at all?
How about when the tables are turned? Suddenly, I'm the one at fault. I'm the one that caused harm. Do I say sorry? Should I just leave it? What if I dun think its my fault at all? What if I think I'm the victim instead?
It's never easy deciphering who's right and who's wrong. I'm not here to discuss that. But lets just say in the event that the one who did wrong owns up to it, and says sorry, is that enough? On many occasions, it never really is. " What are you going to do about it?" seems to be the question after a sorry.
The dictionary defines the word forgive in 3 ways
1. To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.
2. To renounce anger or resentment against.
3. To absolve from payment of (a debt, for example).
We seem to seek on many occasions a sort of payback. "What am I going to get in return for forgiving you? Don't forget, you hurt me bad."
Forgiveness has no terms. It's all or nothing. And don't expect anything in return for it. Don't forget, you are in the drivers' seat. You have the right to accord mercy, or not. To be merciful? Or to be merciless? That equates to being vengeful.
Easier said than done? Agreed! I always thought that forgiving someone meant saying I forgive you, and then bringing it up later. *sigh* How wrong I was. I was seeking revenge. I wanted them to know how much they hurt me. I wanted them to feel my pain, and in turn feel remorseful.
Even as I blog this, I am starting to feel a deep sense of regret. And in turn, I am staring to feel ashamed of my actions. On many occasions, God gave me the chance to be merciful, to forgive, but I chose to be vengeful. I chose to inflict the same kind of pain I received. And I was a hypocrite. I only said I forgive, but never meant to carry out the actions of forgiveness; which is to pardon, to renounce anger or resentment against that person and to absolve from payment of that wrong against me. *sigh*
To choose forgiveness, and by forgiveness I mean true forgiveness as I have just defined, is noble. It shows up the person as he or she really is. To put aside all the pain, the hurts, the anger and resentment is truly something that is to be admired. It surfaces the depth of that person's character.
I have only just begun to realise this truth of what true forgiveness is. I ask for forgiveness of those whom I have not properly forgiven. If I have in anyway made any of you feel horrible about hurting me, then I am truly sorry. As my Father in Heaven forgives me of all sins, I too will learn and forgive all who has wronged me.
How about when the tables are turned? Suddenly, I'm the one at fault. I'm the one that caused harm. Do I say sorry? Should I just leave it? What if I dun think its my fault at all? What if I think I'm the victim instead?
It's never easy deciphering who's right and who's wrong. I'm not here to discuss that. But lets just say in the event that the one who did wrong owns up to it, and says sorry, is that enough? On many occasions, it never really is. " What are you going to do about it?" seems to be the question after a sorry.
The dictionary defines the word forgive in 3 ways
1. To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.
2. To renounce anger or resentment against.
3. To absolve from payment of (a debt, for example).
We seem to seek on many occasions a sort of payback. "What am I going to get in return for forgiving you? Don't forget, you hurt me bad."
Forgiveness has no terms. It's all or nothing. And don't expect anything in return for it. Don't forget, you are in the drivers' seat. You have the right to accord mercy, or not. To be merciful? Or to be merciless? That equates to being vengeful.
Easier said than done? Agreed! I always thought that forgiving someone meant saying I forgive you, and then bringing it up later. *sigh* How wrong I was. I was seeking revenge. I wanted them to know how much they hurt me. I wanted them to feel my pain, and in turn feel remorseful.
Even as I blog this, I am starting to feel a deep sense of regret. And in turn, I am staring to feel ashamed of my actions. On many occasions, God gave me the chance to be merciful, to forgive, but I chose to be vengeful. I chose to inflict the same kind of pain I received. And I was a hypocrite. I only said I forgive, but never meant to carry out the actions of forgiveness; which is to pardon, to renounce anger or resentment against that person and to absolve from payment of that wrong against me. *sigh*
To choose forgiveness, and by forgiveness I mean true forgiveness as I have just defined, is noble. It shows up the person as he or she really is. To put aside all the pain, the hurts, the anger and resentment is truly something that is to be admired. It surfaces the depth of that person's character.
I have only just begun to realise this truth of what true forgiveness is. I ask for forgiveness of those whom I have not properly forgiven. If I have in anyway made any of you feel horrible about hurting me, then I am truly sorry. As my Father in Heaven forgives me of all sins, I too will learn and forgive all who has wronged me.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Things Have to Change
I'm pissed. really pissed. I deserve better.
I'm sick and tired. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I deserve to be happy. Very happy.
Too much of Pain. Too much for too long.
And I'm not standing for it anymore.
Enough of this rollercoaster ride of emotions.
Enough of this schizophrenia of sentiments.
Enough of this melencholy.
Enough of this happiness.
Enough of this melencholy.
I deserve better...
I'm sick and tired. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I deserve to be happy. Very happy.
Too much of Pain. Too much for too long.
And I'm not standing for it anymore.
Enough of this rollercoaster ride of emotions.
Enough of this schizophrenia of sentiments.
Enough of this melencholy.
Enough of this happiness.
Enough of this melencholy.
I deserve better...
Jesus, please don't pass me by
The sun charges up the mountain of the sky. The morning train rumbles through the station. The eternal routines of life sets in. I need something new this morning. I can't pray. I don't need another ritual. My dehydrated heart sends desperate signals. Waves of worry. Hopelessness. Resentment. Irritability. I need a drink.
This morning, my heart is troubled. I need answers. I'm flustered, disgruntled, and annoyed at anyone that gets in my way. "This isn't me," I tell myself. "I know I'm better than that."
I know I need Him. But I can't pray. I need answers today. But I'm not getting any. I know He won't talk to me when I'm like this. He talks to me when I'm resting, when I'm drinking in His love. When I'm swallowing His word. But I can't.
I take out my music player. I'm desperate now. The lyrics start to seep in.
"My heart it longs
My soul it thirsts for more
For more of You"
I've heard this song a million times before. But today its different.
"I'm reaching out
I'm waiting here for more
For more of You"
"Cause all I want is You
And all I need is to be here with You"
I'm paying attention now. Suddenly this song is singing my anthem.
"I'm hungry for Your fire
I'm desperate, You're my one desire
Jesus, please dont pass me by"
"I need You more than ever
I'm thirsty for a touch from Heaven
Jesus, please don't pass me by"
This is my heart's cry. I'm thristy. I'm hungry. I need you Lord. Where are you? What are you doing? Don't just dismiss me. If you're coming by my way, don't pass me by Lord. Suddenly I feel like the two blind beggers who "were sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was going by, they shouted, 'Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!' (Matthew 20:30)
The song continues to echo my sentiments. It simmers into the bridge now.
"Don't pass me by Lord
I'm desperate for You"
Then my heart, filled with religiosity, questions the underlying message. "Why would God ever leave you? What a stupid song, why would Jesus pass you by? Why are you calling out to Him?"
Its the essence of the song. Yes, He will 'never leave me nor forsake me' (Deuteronomy 31:6).
Yes I know that 'When I pass through the waters, He will be with me, and when I pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over me. That when I walk through the fire, I will not be burned. That the flames will not set me ablaze.' Isaiah 43:2
But today is not about knowing...
Today is not about doing...
Today is not about praying...
Today is about lying down in green pastures...
Today is about reaching out to an eternal God...
Today is about drinking in His love...
And like those blind men, I'm found lacking. I'm found wanting. I'm found thirsty. And I need Him. And the Lord is passing by. Am I going to let Him go?
This time, I'm reaching out. Jesus, please don't pass me by. 'I'm hungry for Your fire
I'm desperate, You're my one desire'. 'I need You more than ever, I'm thirsty for a touch from Heaven'. Jesus, please don't pass me by...
'The crowd rebuked them (the blind beggers) and told them to be quiet, but they shouted all the louder, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!" Jesus stopped and called them. "What do you want me to do for you?" he asked.
"Lord," they answered, "we want our sight."' (Matthew 20:31-33)
Then comes my favourite part...
'Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him.' (Matthew 20:34)
And I got my answer...
"...If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." John 7:37-38
Like what water does to my body, He does for my soul. He trickles down the throat of my soul, flushing out my anxiety, my pains, my insecurities. My heart is moist again. My soul is calmed again. I called out to Him. And Jesus had compassion.
"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:21-26
This morning, my heart is troubled. I need answers. I'm flustered, disgruntled, and annoyed at anyone that gets in my way. "This isn't me," I tell myself. "I know I'm better than that."
I know I need Him. But I can't pray. I need answers today. But I'm not getting any. I know He won't talk to me when I'm like this. He talks to me when I'm resting, when I'm drinking in His love. When I'm swallowing His word. But I can't.
I take out my music player. I'm desperate now. The lyrics start to seep in.
"My heart it longs
My soul it thirsts for more
For more of You"
I've heard this song a million times before. But today its different.
"I'm reaching out
I'm waiting here for more
For more of You"
"Cause all I want is You
And all I need is to be here with You"
I'm paying attention now. Suddenly this song is singing my anthem.
"I'm hungry for Your fire
I'm desperate, You're my one desire
Jesus, please dont pass me by"
"I need You more than ever
I'm thirsty for a touch from Heaven
Jesus, please don't pass me by"
This is my heart's cry. I'm thristy. I'm hungry. I need you Lord. Where are you? What are you doing? Don't just dismiss me. If you're coming by my way, don't pass me by Lord. Suddenly I feel like the two blind beggers who "were sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was going by, they shouted, 'Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!' (Matthew 20:30)
The song continues to echo my sentiments. It simmers into the bridge now.
"Don't pass me by Lord
I'm desperate for You"
Then my heart, filled with religiosity, questions the underlying message. "Why would God ever leave you? What a stupid song, why would Jesus pass you by? Why are you calling out to Him?"
Its the essence of the song. Yes, He will 'never leave me nor forsake me' (Deuteronomy 31:6).
Yes I know that 'When I pass through the waters, He will be with me, and when I pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over me. That when I walk through the fire, I will not be burned. That the flames will not set me ablaze.' Isaiah 43:2
But today is not about knowing...
Today is not about doing...
Today is not about praying...
Today is about lying down in green pastures...
Today is about reaching out to an eternal God...
Today is about drinking in His love...
And like those blind men, I'm found lacking. I'm found wanting. I'm found thirsty. And I need Him. And the Lord is passing by. Am I going to let Him go?
This time, I'm reaching out. Jesus, please don't pass me by. 'I'm hungry for Your fire
I'm desperate, You're my one desire'. 'I need You more than ever, I'm thirsty for a touch from Heaven'. Jesus, please don't pass me by...
'The crowd rebuked them (the blind beggers) and told them to be quiet, but they shouted all the louder, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!" Jesus stopped and called them. "What do you want me to do for you?" he asked.
"Lord," they answered, "we want our sight."' (Matthew 20:31-33)
Then comes my favourite part...
'Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him.' (Matthew 20:34)
And I got my answer...
"...If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." John 7:37-38
Like what water does to my body, He does for my soul. He trickles down the throat of my soul, flushing out my anxiety, my pains, my insecurities. My heart is moist again. My soul is calmed again. I called out to Him. And Jesus had compassion.
"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:21-26
Monday, September 26, 2005
Distractions
I got this in an email a while back, take a read...
The Devil's Convention
Satan called a world wide convention. In his opening address to his demons, he said, "We can't keep the Christians from going to church. We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth. We can't even keep them from their values. But we can do something else."
"We can keep them from forming an intimate, abiding relationship experience in Christ. If they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken."
"So let them go to church, let them have their conservative lifestyles, but steal their time, so they can't gain that experience in Jesus Christ. This is what I want you to do, demons."
"Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!" "How shall we do this?" shouted his angels. "Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent unnumbered schemes to occupy their minds, he answered.
"Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, then borrow, borrow, borrow. Convince wives to go to work for long hours and husbands to work 6 or 7 days a week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their lifestyles. Keep them from spending time with their children. As their family fragments, soon their homes will offer no escape from pressures of work.
"Overstimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still small voice. Entice them to play the radio or cd player whenever they drive, to keep the TV, VCD, CDs, and the PCs going constantly in their homes.
"Fill their coffee tables with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds with news 24 hours a day. Invade their driving moments with billboards. Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, sweepstakes, mail-order catalogues, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes.
"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive. Have them return from their recreation exhausted, disquieted, and unprepared for the coming week. Don't let them go out in nature to reflect on God's wonders. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, concerts and clubs instead."
"And when they meet for their spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences and unsettled emotion. Let them be involved in soul-winning. But crowd their lives with so many good causes that they have no time to seek power from Christ. Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause."
It was quite a convention in the end. And the demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get busy, busy, busy and rush here and there. Has the devil been successful at his scheme? You be the judge.
Satan's goal is to take our hearts and minds off Christ then steer us toward the cares of the world. God wants us to enjoy life, but He must be first! If we are too busy for God, then we are TOO BUSY!
The Devil's Convention
Satan called a world wide convention. In his opening address to his demons, he said, "We can't keep the Christians from going to church. We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth. We can't even keep them from their values. But we can do something else."
"We can keep them from forming an intimate, abiding relationship experience in Christ. If they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken."
"So let them go to church, let them have their conservative lifestyles, but steal their time, so they can't gain that experience in Jesus Christ. This is what I want you to do, demons."
"Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!" "How shall we do this?" shouted his angels. "Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent unnumbered schemes to occupy their minds, he answered.
"Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, then borrow, borrow, borrow. Convince wives to go to work for long hours and husbands to work 6 or 7 days a week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their lifestyles. Keep them from spending time with their children. As their family fragments, soon their homes will offer no escape from pressures of work.
"Overstimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still small voice. Entice them to play the radio or cd player whenever they drive, to keep the TV, VCD, CDs, and the PCs going constantly in their homes.
"Fill their coffee tables with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds with news 24 hours a day. Invade their driving moments with billboards. Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, sweepstakes, mail-order catalogues, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes.
"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive. Have them return from their recreation exhausted, disquieted, and unprepared for the coming week. Don't let them go out in nature to reflect on God's wonders. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, concerts and clubs instead."
"And when they meet for their spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences and unsettled emotion. Let them be involved in soul-winning. But crowd their lives with so many good causes that they have no time to seek power from Christ. Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause."
It was quite a convention in the end. And the demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get busy, busy, busy and rush here and there. Has the devil been successful at his scheme? You be the judge.
Satan's goal is to take our hearts and minds off Christ then steer us toward the cares of the world. God wants us to enjoy life, but He must be first! If we are too busy for God, then we are TOO BUSY!
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Bums of the Office
Here we are (me and kev).
Born to be Kings.
We're the Princes of the office. *music goes awry*
Well, thats when everyone else is away.
Just finished watching the last episode of One Tree Hill just now (yes, I watched it in the office). Very sad. *sigh* Made me think of things as usual. Somehow One Tree Hill makes me think more than any other show (as if watching The OC is gonna fluster any brain cells). Kev agrees. He watches it too. It's all his fault actually that I'm addicted. Damn you Kev.
How do they come up with all these one-liners? 'People always leave' or 'Sometimes they come back'. Or how about 'If getting what you want is tragic, then give me tragedy'. *sigh* Damn you One Tree Hill...
Born to be Kings.
We're the Princes of the office. *music goes awry*
Well, thats when everyone else is away.
Just finished watching the last episode of One Tree Hill just now (yes, I watched it in the office). Very sad. *sigh* Made me think of things as usual. Somehow One Tree Hill makes me think more than any other show (as if watching The OC is gonna fluster any brain cells). Kev agrees. He watches it too. It's all his fault actually that I'm addicted. Damn you Kev.
How do they come up with all these one-liners? 'People always leave' or 'Sometimes they come back'. Or how about 'If getting what you want is tragic, then give me tragedy'. *sigh* Damn you One Tree Hill...
Saturday, September 17, 2005
My Dil Goes Mmmm...
Watched Salaam Namaste yesterday. Listening to My Dil Goes Mmmm now. Such an emotional roller-coaster. The plot was a tad bit weak. The twists and turns? Predictable. Chemistry? Ok la. But oh, what a loveable movie. Uplifting at times, yet so sad at others. Realities of life? Absolutely! You have no idea how many times it went up, then down, then up, then down again. What I loved about it was how real it was. So many times in the movie I was led to moments in my past that connected to the movie. When the song My Dil Goes Mmmm (you can so tell that was my favourite song from the movie right?) I was led to remember all the good times I've had with you know who la ;P No! Not Raju!
At the end of the movie, everyone was humming along to the tunes of the songs in the movie. I was humming along as well and just felt like dancing in the middle of nowhere. It does that to you. It's so uplifting, makes you feel like you're in love again *sigh* I'm a romantic, so sue me! (I'll probably romance you out of that one too :P)
Ok ok, so you want to know what the movie is about rite? You can make your way down to http://www1.yashrajfilms.com/. Heh, ok la, I'll tell you k? Set in Melbourne, Nick (Saif Ali Khan) and Amber -pronounced as Umbar (The ever irresistible Preeti) are two singles who are happy living their lives as that. Nick is a Chef who is late for an interview with Amber who is a Radio DJ on the station 'Salaam Namaste' (I can hear the Ooos and Ahhhs people, keep it down >:( Amber gets angry and slams him on live radio. So he calls her up on live radio to tell her off, but it turns out to be a fighting match and radio world is delighted. However, they happen to meet at a friends party and they click while not knowing who each other really is. To cut the long story short, they end up finding out who each other is, then they fall in love (and out and then in and then out... you get the drift). I dun want to get into too much detail but the movie is super funny and highly enjoyable. The 3 hours passed by without me feeling the numbness in my butt. So it has to be good right? It is, so go watch and tell me I'm right.
Oh, and try not to dance in the middle of nowhere after the movie!
At the end of the movie, everyone was humming along to the tunes of the songs in the movie. I was humming along as well and just felt like dancing in the middle of nowhere. It does that to you. It's so uplifting, makes you feel like you're in love again *sigh* I'm a romantic, so sue me! (I'll probably romance you out of that one too :P)
Ok ok, so you want to know what the movie is about rite? You can make your way down to http://www1.yashrajfilms.com/. Heh, ok la, I'll tell you k? Set in Melbourne, Nick (Saif Ali Khan) and Amber -pronounced as Umbar (The ever irresistible Preeti) are two singles who are happy living their lives as that. Nick is a Chef who is late for an interview with Amber who is a Radio DJ on the station 'Salaam Namaste' (I can hear the Ooos and Ahhhs people, keep it down >:( Amber gets angry and slams him on live radio. So he calls her up on live radio to tell her off, but it turns out to be a fighting match and radio world is delighted. However, they happen to meet at a friends party and they click while not knowing who each other really is. To cut the long story short, they end up finding out who each other is, then they fall in love (and out and then in and then out... you get the drift). I dun want to get into too much detail but the movie is super funny and highly enjoyable. The 3 hours passed by without me feeling the numbness in my butt. So it has to be good right? It is, so go watch and tell me I'm right.
Oh, and try not to dance in the middle of nowhere after the movie!
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
What Will I Choose?
It's quiet. It's early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black.
The world is still asleep. The day is coming. In a few moments the day will arrive.
It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun.
The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day.
The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race.
The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met. For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands.
It is now that I must make a choice.
Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose. And so I choose…
I choose love
No occasion justifies hatred;
No injustice warrants bitterness.
I choose love.
Today I will love God and what God loves.
I choose joy
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.
I will refuse the temptation to be cynical... the tool of the lazy
thinker.
I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God.
I will refuse to see any problems anything less than an opportunity to see God.
I choose peace
I will live forgiven. I will live to forgive.
I choose patience
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.
Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for getting a moment to pray.
Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.
I choose kindness
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.
Kind to the rich, for they are afraid.
And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.
I choose goodness
I will go without before I take dishonest gain.
I will be overlooked before I will boast.
I will confess before I will accuse.
I choose goodness.
I choose faithfulness
Today I will keep my promises.
My debtors will not regret their trust.
My associates will not question my word.
My wife will not question my love.
And my children will never fear that father will not come home.
I choose gentleness
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice may it be only in praise.
If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer.
If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.
I choose self-control
I am a spiritual being.
I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control.
I will be drunk only by joy.
I will be impassioned only by my faith.
I will be influenced only by God.
I will be taught only by Christ.
I choose self-control.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
To Him I commit my day.
If I succeed, I will give thanks.
If I fail, I will seek His grace.
And then, when this day is done,
I will place my head on my pillow and rest.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
1 Corinthians13:4-8
The world is still asleep. The day is coming. In a few moments the day will arrive.
It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun.
The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day.
The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race.
The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met. For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands.
It is now that I must make a choice.
Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose. And so I choose…
I choose love
No occasion justifies hatred;
No injustice warrants bitterness.
I choose love.
Today I will love God and what God loves.
I choose joy
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.
I will refuse the temptation to be cynical... the tool of the lazy
thinker.
I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God.
I will refuse to see any problems anything less than an opportunity to see God.
I choose peace
I will live forgiven. I will live to forgive.
I choose patience
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.
Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for getting a moment to pray.
Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.
I choose kindness
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.
Kind to the rich, for they are afraid.
And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.
I choose goodness
I will go without before I take dishonest gain.
I will be overlooked before I will boast.
I will confess before I will accuse.
I choose goodness.
I choose faithfulness
Today I will keep my promises.
My debtors will not regret their trust.
My associates will not question my word.
My wife will not question my love.
And my children will never fear that father will not come home.
I choose gentleness
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice may it be only in praise.
If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer.
If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.
I choose self-control
I am a spiritual being.
I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control.
I will be drunk only by joy.
I will be impassioned only by my faith.
I will be influenced only by God.
I will be taught only by Christ.
I choose self-control.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
To Him I commit my day.
If I succeed, I will give thanks.
If I fail, I will seek His grace.
And then, when this day is done,
I will place my head on my pillow and rest.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
1 Corinthians13:4-8
Mom...
Great, we're moving house. Why am I so upset about it? Cause I just came back home after a 5 year exile (due to a fight with my step-dad). Why are we moving? Cause my parents are getting a divorce. I love this house, even though I've spent so much of time away from it. It's big, and spacious, and a home I can really be proud of.
Do I really have a say about things? No, not really. But at least I can complain... right? *sigh* I know this whole divorce isn't the nicest thing to happen to my mom and the last thing she wants is to move too. I really don't know how she does it. All her life, she's been abused either physically or mentally. First by her dad, then her first husband (my real dad) and then by her second husband. Where does she find so much strength to continue living the way she does?
I actually admire her strength and zest for life. She admits that getting this divorce is going to be difficult for her, but she says she needs to get it anyway. Why? Cause her children can't go on living with a violent drunkard man. But in effect, she's losing someone she loves. She's losing her companion in her old age. But she's doing it cause enough is enough and cause she loves her children. Thats what I call selflessness.
I mean, anyone in their old age could just throw a tantrum (yes even at that age) and insist that want to end up being with that person simply because of a fear of growing old alone. But my mom, even at this age, insists that she wants whats best for her children.
I love you mom. You're the best.
Do I really have a say about things? No, not really. But at least I can complain... right? *sigh* I know this whole divorce isn't the nicest thing to happen to my mom and the last thing she wants is to move too. I really don't know how she does it. All her life, she's been abused either physically or mentally. First by her dad, then her first husband (my real dad) and then by her second husband. Where does she find so much strength to continue living the way she does?
I actually admire her strength and zest for life. She admits that getting this divorce is going to be difficult for her, but she says she needs to get it anyway. Why? Cause her children can't go on living with a violent drunkard man. But in effect, she's losing someone she loves. She's losing her companion in her old age. But she's doing it cause enough is enough and cause she loves her children. Thats what I call selflessness.
I mean, anyone in their old age could just throw a tantrum (yes even at that age) and insist that want to end up being with that person simply because of a fear of growing old alone. But my mom, even at this age, insists that she wants whats best for her children.
I love you mom. You're the best.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
The Party
Ever wondered how when bad things come, they turn up in a package? I mean, how is it that when something bad comes, it brings it's friends along and you end up having a pretty bad party.
I was having one of those parties over the weekend. Actually, it started on Wednesday and it just snowballed till Sunday. But the party climaxed over the weekend and boy, all i wanted was the week-to-end!
Stange thing about these parties? Everyone around you is having them too. So you can't really give them a call to help you out. So you decide to look upwards and *tadah!* you suddenly have an avenue to vent your frustrations on. "It's all His fault that I'm in this mess." "Why did You let all this happen?" "Stop helping the people in Somalia, I need help right now!"
Suddenly, God enters the scene. Who lets Him enter? We do. And when do we do so? When the 'bad times gang' turns up to PAAAARTAY! "You screwed up Lord, how could you let these *points to the gang* happen to me?" God is at fault. He screwed up. He messed up. And now you've invited Him over, He's at the scene finally, the culprit is finally here. But He's not allowed in, He's just here for an interrogation.
[J]: Why did you allow this to happen?
[J]: Where were you when i needed you to help?
[J]: Answer me! Whats wrong with you? Aren't you supposed to be good?
You know, David himself interrogated God on a number of occasions.
My soul is in anguish.
How long, O LORD, how long?
Psalm 6:3
He too felt anguish.
I am worn out from groaning;
all night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
Psalm 6:6
David knew anguish. David interrogated God. David let God into the party and God turned his situation around. Eh? What's that last bit? -Dun be lazy, it's in print, just read it again - In the same Psalm, David ends off with
8 Away from me, all you who do evil,
for the LORD has heard my weeping.
9 The LORD has heard my cry for mercy;
the LORD accepts my prayer.
10 All my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed;
they will turn back in sudden disgrace.
David knew only God could change his situation. Only God could turn mistakes into masterpieces. And although he was in anguish, and he interrogated God, he also decided to trust in Him.
What happened to David? What became of him? David overcame all who came against him. He defeated all his enemies. David became the most successful King Israel ever had. He wrote in Psalm 23:6
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
There was a new party in David's life. It was called 'The Goodness and Love' party. Timing? 'All the days of my life.' And it was held in the 'House of the Lord'. Chao people, I've got a party to go to.
I was having one of those parties over the weekend. Actually, it started on Wednesday and it just snowballed till Sunday. But the party climaxed over the weekend and boy, all i wanted was the week-to-end!
Stange thing about these parties? Everyone around you is having them too. So you can't really give them a call to help you out. So you decide to look upwards and *tadah!* you suddenly have an avenue to vent your frustrations on. "It's all His fault that I'm in this mess." "Why did You let all this happen?" "Stop helping the people in Somalia, I need help right now!"
Suddenly, God enters the scene. Who lets Him enter? We do. And when do we do so? When the 'bad times gang' turns up to PAAAARTAY! "You screwed up Lord, how could you let these *points to the gang* happen to me?" God is at fault. He screwed up. He messed up. And now you've invited Him over, He's at the scene finally, the culprit is finally here. But He's not allowed in, He's just here for an interrogation.
[J]: Why did you allow this to happen?
[J]: Where were you when i needed you to help?
[J]: Answer me! Whats wrong with you? Aren't you supposed to be good?
You know, David himself interrogated God on a number of occasions.
My soul is in anguish.
How long, O LORD, how long?
Psalm 6:3
He too felt anguish.
I am worn out from groaning;
all night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
Psalm 6:6
David knew anguish. David interrogated God. David let God into the party and God turned his situation around. Eh? What's that last bit? -Dun be lazy, it's in print, just read it again - In the same Psalm, David ends off with
8 Away from me, all you who do evil,
for the LORD has heard my weeping.
9 The LORD has heard my cry for mercy;
the LORD accepts my prayer.
10 All my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed;
they will turn back in sudden disgrace.
David knew only God could change his situation. Only God could turn mistakes into masterpieces. And although he was in anguish, and he interrogated God, he also decided to trust in Him.
What happened to David? What became of him? David overcame all who came against him. He defeated all his enemies. David became the most successful King Israel ever had. He wrote in Psalm 23:6
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
There was a new party in David's life. It was called 'The Goodness and Love' party. Timing? 'All the days of my life.' And it was held in the 'House of the Lord'. Chao people, I've got a party to go to.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
My First Blog - A Tithe to the Lord
Blessing- reflections from Psalm 67
Blessing… it’s something that every Christian has an interest in and a word that is bantered around so frequently! When someone sneezes, we bless them- at the end of a phone conversation, we bless the caller- we pray that God would bless food to our bodies and ask him to bless the needy and to bless our friends and families. What is blessing all about? Is blessing simply the Christian equivalent to the world’s wishing or is there something more to it? The blessing of God is often associated with the context of worship. The most appropriate place for blessing (according to the Old Testament) is at the end of a worship service. The prayer of blessing is a prayer for those who have gathered in worship that what they have received will go with them and infiltrate every area of their daily lives. It is like a bridge that joins the worship service with outside every day life. Israel fully intended to receive God’s blessing in going to the sanctuary to take part in “worship”. Mowinckel writes “through worship and all its rites, blessing was achieved, made secure and increased for individuals and for the community”.
Psalm 67 is a Psalm most likely to have been a prayer for blessing. A context where the Psalm may have been read was as a congregational benediction at the end of a worship service or other worship occasion. Deuteronomy demonstrates for us that God intended His blessing to empower growth, fertility and prosperity (Deut 7:13; 28:3-6). The blessing of God is His presence with us in every thing and always- it is His hand that sustains and His hand that provides. A.A.Anderson says that God’s blessing is “the active help of God Himself”.
This Psalm is an incredible prayer to pray for our own lives and for the lives of those with whom we will connect. It is a prayer that God would bless us in order that we would be used (by Him) to bless His earth and His people. The Psalmist’s cry in verse one that God would “mark us with grace and blessing” is a desire that through God’s activity in our own lives, people everywhere would come to know our Mighty God and Saviour. In this rich understanding of blessing, the often-perceived self-indulgent prayer becomes the most generous and outward looking desire.
In a similar sense, the shining forth of God’s face among His people (v1) is a metaphor for His goodwill and blessing. Proverbs 16:15 says “When a kings face brightens, it means life; his favour is like a rain cloud in spring.” A bright shining face reveals a person of good disposition and is a sign of inward pleasure. How much would we therefore seek the face of God in our lives- that at one glance of His face, we may never be the same again. When the Psalmist says, “Let all people thank and enjoy you”, we can only imagine that there will come a day when all people will know of the goodness of God and His saving power that sets humanity free.
The blessing of God is realised in our lives through many and diverse examples. The Bible teaches us that blessing can come in the form of posterity (Gen 26:23; 28:3), prosperity and wealth (Gen 24:35; Deut 7:12-13), land (Gen 35:12; 48:3), fertility, health and victory (Deut 7:14-16).
God’s blessing has a purpose in our lives for the sake of others as Psalm 96 so poignantly demonstrates. The Psalm is a prayer for salvation in the widest sense- for the whole world. This prayer looks upon the day that those who hear of our wonderful God and all that He gives and provides and allows, may in hearing choose to receive Christ and all His benefits- that they too may be able to thank and enjoy God! In this sense, join the Psalmist and pray that in your life, you too may be very blessed by Almighty God!
Taken From http://www.fivelines.com/ - The Official Website of Reuben Morgan
Blessing… it’s something that every Christian has an interest in and a word that is bantered around so frequently! When someone sneezes, we bless them- at the end of a phone conversation, we bless the caller- we pray that God would bless food to our bodies and ask him to bless the needy and to bless our friends and families. What is blessing all about? Is blessing simply the Christian equivalent to the world’s wishing or is there something more to it? The blessing of God is often associated with the context of worship. The most appropriate place for blessing (according to the Old Testament) is at the end of a worship service. The prayer of blessing is a prayer for those who have gathered in worship that what they have received will go with them and infiltrate every area of their daily lives. It is like a bridge that joins the worship service with outside every day life. Israel fully intended to receive God’s blessing in going to the sanctuary to take part in “worship”. Mowinckel writes “through worship and all its rites, blessing was achieved, made secure and increased for individuals and for the community”.
Psalm 67 is a Psalm most likely to have been a prayer for blessing. A context where the Psalm may have been read was as a congregational benediction at the end of a worship service or other worship occasion. Deuteronomy demonstrates for us that God intended His blessing to empower growth, fertility and prosperity (Deut 7:13; 28:3-6). The blessing of God is His presence with us in every thing and always- it is His hand that sustains and His hand that provides. A.A.Anderson says that God’s blessing is “the active help of God Himself”.
This Psalm is an incredible prayer to pray for our own lives and for the lives of those with whom we will connect. It is a prayer that God would bless us in order that we would be used (by Him) to bless His earth and His people. The Psalmist’s cry in verse one that God would “mark us with grace and blessing” is a desire that through God’s activity in our own lives, people everywhere would come to know our Mighty God and Saviour. In this rich understanding of blessing, the often-perceived self-indulgent prayer becomes the most generous and outward looking desire.
In a similar sense, the shining forth of God’s face among His people (v1) is a metaphor for His goodwill and blessing. Proverbs 16:15 says “When a kings face brightens, it means life; his favour is like a rain cloud in spring.” A bright shining face reveals a person of good disposition and is a sign of inward pleasure. How much would we therefore seek the face of God in our lives- that at one glance of His face, we may never be the same again. When the Psalmist says, “Let all people thank and enjoy you”, we can only imagine that there will come a day when all people will know of the goodness of God and His saving power that sets humanity free.
The blessing of God is realised in our lives through many and diverse examples. The Bible teaches us that blessing can come in the form of posterity (Gen 26:23; 28:3), prosperity and wealth (Gen 24:35; Deut 7:12-13), land (Gen 35:12; 48:3), fertility, health and victory (Deut 7:14-16).
God’s blessing has a purpose in our lives for the sake of others as Psalm 96 so poignantly demonstrates. The Psalm is a prayer for salvation in the widest sense- for the whole world. This prayer looks upon the day that those who hear of our wonderful God and all that He gives and provides and allows, may in hearing choose to receive Christ and all His benefits- that they too may be able to thank and enjoy God! In this sense, join the Psalmist and pray that in your life, you too may be very blessed by Almighty God!
Taken From http://www.fivelines.com/ - The Official Website of Reuben Morgan
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